In the Gospel of St Matthew, we read of King Herod’s Massacre of the Innocents. Herod put to death every male child under the age of two in the vicinity of Bethlehem. The Christian response was to render unto state power what belonged to it, without being able to identify what did and what didn’t. The results were predictable. First the Christians accommodated empire. Then Christianity became one.
Continue readingAuthor Archives: Irfan Khawaja
On Love of Country
You’ve got to love a country where the President commutes the death sentences of 37 death row inmates, is widely praised for it, makes a pious speech about why the other three have to get the shaft for “terrorism,” and then, without a pause, continues committing genocide abroad while winning adulation for that. The part of the country fixated on the first part of that sentence is incomprehensible to the part fixated on the second, and vice versa. The day when the second group becomes large enough to be a real worry to the first is the day that we’ll witness the beginning of the end of the United States of America in the name of something better. It’s only when you grasp that the second group unapologetically wants to hasten that day that you’ll understand what the dispute was about in the first place. But believe me, we do.
The Evil Demon in the OR
EVS Journal 8: More Scenes from Life on Call in the OR
Up to this point, what I have accepted as very true I have derived either from the senses or through the senses. However, sometimes I have discovered that these are mistaken, and it is prudent never to place one’s entire trust in things which have deceived us even once.
Descartes, Meditations on First Philosophy, Meditation 1
I’m on call in the OR for New Year’s Day, 8 am to midnight–an irritation after a long sleep-deprived week of work, including all of New Year’s Eve spent in the OR. I wake up on New Year’s Day, and decide, on a mere hunch or whim, to drive to the hospital mid-morning, pre-empting the phone call that calls me in to the hospital, operating instead (so to speak) on the premonition that if I go to the OR unbidden, there’ll inevitably be a case waiting for me to do, which I’ll then be in a position to “head off at the pass,” whatever that’s supposed to mean in this non-cowboy context. Continue reading
Call Me
Scenes from Life On Call in the OR
EVS Journal 7
Every member of the OR EVS team takes emergency call on assigned weekends. The call shift starts at 8 am, ends at midnight, and takes place on two consecutive days. It’s an exercise in underpaid exhaustion. You get $5/hr every hour that you’re on call but not actively on a call. Once you get a call, you suit up (in scrubs) and punch in. Once you suit up and punch in for a case, you get paid time and a half: $21/hr. When you’re done with the case, you punch out–you’re supposed to punch out–and go back to $5 an hour. Overtime past midnight is penalized, regardless of when the call comes in. Continue reading
Secure Your Own Homeland
ICE showed up at my workplace today–or rather, ICE in the guise of DHS, “The Department of Homeland Security.” The agent flashed a badge and started asking about some people with Spanish names. Did I know anything about them? I had nothing to say.
The only thing I have for ICE or DHS–the only product I can promise–is wholehearted, undying hostility. I doubt they want to hear me talk about that. So there’s nothing to say. In any case, the Homeland they’re securing isn’t mine to worry about, and the land that I live in isn’t theirs to secure. Not a promising basis for a meeting of minds–the only kind that interests me.
I opened the door this time because I didn’t know who was ringing. Next time, as far as I’m concerned, they can stand there for as long as it takes to induce someone else to open the door. I’m not the doorman. So it won’t be me.
Those Drones Explained
Zeynep Tufekci has a piece in The New York Times trying to explain the “drone panic” that has (supposedly) overtaken New Jersey. I live and work in central New Jersey, and have neither seen any drones nor encountered any panic, but am only too happy to borrow the premise.
Tufekci attempts a couple of explanations for the drone panic (and the drones), but conspicuously fails to mention one of the most prominent ones out there. About a week ago, South Jersey Congressman Jeff Van Drew vehemently suggested that the drones had been launched by an Iranian mothership, the implication being that they were imminently about to attack us, and constituted a major national security threat. He cited no real evidence for his claims, accused the Pentagon of covering up the threat, doubled down for awhile, and then retracted the whole thing. Van Drew is a standard-issue right-wing imbecile, but the explanation for making such claims is obvious. It’s called a guilty conscience. A belatedly guilty conscience.
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The Crooked Timbre of Humanity
EVS Journal 6
December 16, 2020
“Out of the crooked timber of humanity, nothing straight was ever made.”
–Rabbi Immanuel Kant, Idea for a Universal History with a Cosmopolitan Purpose
Another Hava Nagila incident in the OR today. Was playing it pretty loud on repeat, twirling my rag as they used to do back in my shtetl. Nineteen year old co-worker Ron goes, “Oh man, turn that Arabic shit off!” Arabic! 😂
Ron keeps ordering Alexa to stop, but she won’t listen. Once it starts, there’s no stopping Hava Nagila. And if Alexa is on shuffle-repeat? We’re talking eternal musical recurrence. Either you love your fate, or you don’t. I do. Ron doesn’t.
I’m celebrating the vicissitudes of fate when the Director of the OR walks in unannounced. She seems flustered, startled, even annoyed. I don’t know what she expected out of a cystoscopy turnaround in OR 1 by her crack EVS unit, but Employee #1027742 twirling a rag to Hava Nagila and pretending to be Tevye the Fiddler was perhaps not it. Continue reading
Fiddlers in the OR
I started an “EVS Journal” back in 2020, when I worked in environmental services in the operating room of a small community hospital in west-central New Jersey. I’ve decided to start posting edited versions of them here, for whatever interest they might still have.
EVS Journal #5
December 15, 2020
Seth, Bilal, and I are doing a late turnover in OR 2. Alexa is playing Christmas carols. I get annoyed.
“Two Muslims and a Jew in here, and we’re listening to Christmas carols. Why?”
Without a word or reaction, Seth commands Alexa to play “Hava Nagila.”
“That’s better,” I say.
“I hate this fucking song,” Seth rejoins. Hava Nagila continues. Continue reading
UHC, Denials, and Wrongful Death Revisited
The questions you ask determine the answers you get. If you ask the right questions, you have some hope of reaching the right answers. If you ask the wrong ones, you’ll likely reach the wrong answers. If you give up on asking, you get nothing but what you started with, so that if you begin in ignorance, you end there.
The debate about the killing of Brian Thompson threatens to begin and end either in misdirection or reinforced ignorance or both. Stuck between two competing brands of outrage–one exulting in Thompson’s death, the other outraged at the exultation–we’re in danger of losing the denials/reimbursement plot altogether. I know I’ve posted on this issue already, but think I’ve found a better way of saying what I was trying to say in that post, one that does a better job of asking the right questions than my last post did.* So here is UHC, Denials, and Death, Take 2. Continue reading
Divestment at Rutgers
Policy of Truth 