Somebody tried to steal my car the other night in New York City. He (or she, but more likely a he) didn’t manage to pull it off, but having put that much time and energy into the job, I guess he decided to steal my driver’s side rear-view mirror while he was at it.

This gives me a lifetime 0-3 (or maybe 3-0) record on car thefts: 3 attempts to steal cars of mine, all failures. (Well, one of them was my Mom’s car, but I used it to deliver newspapers, so I thought of it as partly mine.)

Actually to be perfectly candid, I once drove by a car-jacking-in-progress, also in New York City, but I don’t know how it turned out: I was looking for parking en route to a Joe Satriani concert, and didn’t pause to see the outcome. (I didn’t call the cops, either; we were already late to the show. So much for the Parable of the Good Samaritan!)

I’ve often been accused of being anti-cop and pro-criminal, but rest assured that I am both anti-car-thief and anti-mirror-thief. I didn’t happen to report this crime to the police (waste of time, and as usual, I was late getting somewhere), but I hope that this thief meets a bad end lasting at least seven years. I’m grateful to any cop that makes it happen.

I found it ironic that someone would steal a rear-view mirror at  year’s end. The end of the year is supposed to be a time for backward glances at the actions and events of the preceding year. You shouldn’t need to steal someone’s rear-view mirror to do that: introspection is free. But I do hope that the perpetrator will take a good, hard look at himself in the mirror and ask whether the sight he sees will bear scrutiny. I somehow doubt it.

Happy New Year’s to everyone. Well, almost everyone.

P.S., Having just opened my mail, I just learned that the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has issued a recall on my car:

If you see smoke enter the interior through the heating and cooling vents, or if you smell smoke or a plastic burning odor, your vehicle may be experiencing this issue. If this occurs carefully pull over to a safe location and shut off the engine. All occupants should exit the vehicle and move to a safe location away from the vehicle. Do not continue to drive the vehicle.

Maybe the thief was doing me a favor?