I went to Princeton, I’ve taught at Princeton, I’ve lived in Princeton, and I spend time at Princeton almost every day of the week, but it’s only belatedly occurred to me what a ridiculous place it is. I had not, 39 years after matriculating at Princeton and 35 after graduating, ever learned the words or melody of “Old Nassau,” the University’s theme song (or whatever you call it), so I decided five minutes ago to look them up.

Holy cow. It was an eyeful.

Tune ev'ry heart and ev'ry voice,
Bid ev'ry care withdraw;
Let all with one accord rejoice,
In praise of Old Nassau.

Chorus

In praise of Old Nassau, we sing,
Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!
Our hearts will give, while we shall live,
Three cheers for Old Nassau.

Verse 2

Let music rule the fleeting hour,
Her mantle round us draw;
And thrill each heart with all her pow'r,
In praise of Old Nassau.

Repeat chorus.

Verse 3

And when these walls in dust are laid,
With reverence and awe,
Another throng shall breathe our song,
In praise of Old Nassau.

Repeat chorus.

Verse 4

Till then with joy our songs we'll bring,
And while a breath we draw,
We'll all unite to shout and sing:
Long life to Old Nassau.

Final chorus

In praise of Old Nassau, we sing,
Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!
Our hearts will give, while we shall live,
Long life to Old Nassau.

The original, apparently, had three more verses. I don’t even want to know.

But you have to give it credit. The song really does explain something about the place, really does capture that old Princeton mystique. Princetonians love their school. They take more pride in it than they take in their kids’ artwork. Say the wrong thing about the place in the company of the wrong set of alumni, and you learn your lesson pretty quickly. Every care definitely withdraws. All rejoice with one voice. Everybody sings in praise. Every heart thrills to the power. All feel reverence and awe. All unite to shout. Alumni die, but Old Nassau lives on.

In short, whether deity or demon, Old Nassau is immortal–in both temporal directions. Kant claimed to be unsure whether the universe had a beginning in time. I’m not sure, either. But we can all be sure that Old Nassau didn’t.

I attended a meeting of the Council of the Princeton University Community (CPUC) yesterday, “a permanent conference of the representatives of all major groups of the University,” where each group raises the “problems that concern them” so that all are “exposed to each other’s views.” Like all exercises in university self-governance, yesterday’s CPUC meeting was a heady mixture of the interesting, the excruciating, and the unintentionally hilarious. I left as I always do, unsure of whether I wanted to kill myself or someone else.

Anyway, I got to thinking. I engage with the University often enough. Wouldn’t it be edifying and fun to chronicle my adventures in an ongoing series for the blog? I mean, I could do the cheap thing and call it something mean, like “Jeers for Old Nassau,” or even more snarkily, “Reverence and Awe.” But that would be in poor taste, and I am, like all Princeton alumni, a man (or woman) of taste and refinement. So that wouldn’t do. Why not call it “Adventures at Old Nassau”? I mean, it worked for Milton. John Milton, I mean.

I thence
Invoke thy aid to my adventrous Song,
That with no middle flight intends to soar
Above th' Aonian Mount, while it pursues
Things unattempted yet in Prose or Rhime.
And chiefly Thou, O Spirit, that dost prefer
Before all Temples th' upright heart and pure,
Instruct me, for Thou know'st; Thou from the first
Wast present, and with mighty wings outspread
Dove-like satst brooding on the vast Abyss
And mad'st it pregnant: What in me is dark
Illumin, what is low raise and support;
That to the highth of this great Argument
I may assert Eternal Providence,
And justifie the wayes of God to men.

Or maybe the reverse.

Anyway, you’re in luck, because though this post was #1, it’s just a teaser. Issue #2 is imminent. With joy my song I’ll bring.