Baby, We Can’t Drive Your Car


December 18, 2022

Copart, Inc.
2704 Geryville Pike
Pennsburg, PA 18073

To whom it may concern:

Thank you for your recent communication regarding the Lebanon County Court of Common Pleas’s decision, finding against Dawid Malek as well as against the “further Defendants listed in the attached Exhibit A.” Needless to say, Exhibit A was neither attached nor received in any communication I’ve ever received from you, but I appreciate the empty gesture.

Please accept my congratulations on your having acquired a useless car owned, and presumably abandoned on your lot, by a dead person. Pursuant to Rule 236 of the Pennsylvania Code, I solemnly resolve, on my next visit to my late wife’s grave, to relay news of the Court’s decision to her. The news will, I’m sure, be well received by the cremated ashes that inhabit her casket, and by her immortal soul, wherever it happens to reside. 

And now, this 18th day of December, in consideration of the false accusations and whining demands you’ve flung my way, and the Motion for Disposition that’s finally given you what you wanted, it is hereby ordered that you go, take the car, shove it up your various asses, and leave me alone.

Best wishes on the holiday season.


Irfan Khawaja

cc: John J Ferry, Jr. 


One thought on “Baby, We Can’t Drive Your Car

  1. Pingback: Out of My Dreams, and Into My Car | Policy of Truth

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