Full of righteous indignation, I sent away for my WE WILL NOT BE SILENT/LAN NASMOUT t-shirt a few weeks ago. I was going to wear it, loud and proud, about town. So a package from the company comes in the mail the other day, and with breathless anticipation, I open it, the message echoing in my mind. We. Will. Not. Be. Silent. 

Wrong shirt. They sent me the wrong shirt.

What to do? I folded the shirt, put it on a shelf in my closet, and–in conspicuous silence–sent away for a new one. I could complain, ask for a refund, ask for an exchange, but what’s the point? I’d have to find a new package (I tore the original one), put the shirt in it, write a note explaining the situation, find a printer (I don’t own one, and my handwriting is illegible), print it out, go to the Post Office, wait in line, pay for postage, wait for them to get it, wait for the right shirt…I might as well just keep the shirt they sent and wear it when I’m out of clean clothes.

I’m thinking that my next online t-shirt purchase will be one with the apolitical message, Caveat Emptor.

Postscript, December 30, 2015: I now officially feel bad about writing this post. I meant it as a joke, not as a real complaint, but I just got home tonight, and faster than I could have thought humanly possible, there’s a package at my door with two WE WILL NOT BE SILENT t-shirts in it. So cancel any implication of a complaint in the original post. These guys rock. That means you, Sarah Wellington. You rock. I hope everyone around the world starts wearing your t-shirts, and that you become a millionaire, if you aren’t one already.

It’s kind of embarrassing, but what I didn’t mention in the original post was that I actually liked the shirt they erroneously sent me. In fact I wore it all day today. But mentioning that would have over-complicated the post, so I left it out.

In that spirit, I want everyone reading this blog to drop what you’re doing right now, go to their website, and order a bunch of t-shirts right now. I will not be silent about this.

I have to say, I kind of like this blog-based approach to customer service. I’m wondering: if I start blogging about my mind-blowingly inconsiderate upstairs neighbors, will my landlord finally evict them? They won’t be silent (they’re screaming at one another right now), and I don’t mean that as a good thing. A little silence might do them some good.