It’s time for a jihad against Facebook. My friend Chris Sciabarra explains why. Just to be clear, Sciabarra is not calling for a jihad on Facebook; I am. But the time has come, O believers, to bring the wrath of Allah (subhana w’tala) on this social media platform of Satan.
I get that QAnon is a big problem, and that some persons and institutions need to be de-platformed. But for the denizens of the most violent society on the planet to declare some “advocacy of violence” beyond the pale while treating conventional forms of it perfectly legitimate, is bullshit. It demands a response. And that response is merciless jihad.
So I put a jihad on Facebook. I have de-activated my account. When I get a chance, I will transfer all of my photos and videos from Facebook to Instagram. The war is on.
And if you don’t believe it, delete my account now. Or I’ll put a jihad on you.
Looks like you may have to rethink the scope of the Fatwa. From their policy statement:
“As a result of some of the actions we’ve already taken, we’ve removed over 790 groups, 100 Pages and 1,500 ads tied to QAnon from Facebook, blocked over 300 hashtags across Facebook and Instagram, and additionally imposed restrictions on over 1,950 Groups and 440 Pages on Facebook and over 10,000 accounts on Instagram.”
Just sayin’. 🙂
Death to Instagram, then!
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Just to err on the side of caution:
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“my good friends Nathan and Jason are among those who are now being characterized as ‘Dangerous Individuals.’ And Jason himself has actually been in my apartment! If only I’d known!”
As I wrote on Chris’s page:
“I can confirm that Jason was present in Chris’s apartment, as I myself was present on the same occasion, and was shocked to witness his violent and destructive behaviour at that time. Several pieces of pizza were horribly destroyed by Jason without apparent compunction. I blush to confess that I was lured into similar destructive activity by his malign influence.”
(I’ll prudently say nothing about Irfan’s whereabouts or activities on that occasion.)
I would cite photographic evidence of my and Jason’s joint presence in Chris’s apartment but the relevant photos seem to have vanished with the associated account.
I kept trying to write this hilarious prank comment saying that I’d found the photo, and then reproducing “The Oath of the Horatii” below, but fucking WordPress won’t let me do it.
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For all the people making fun of me offline for not knowing that Facebook and Instagram are the same thing: I declare a jihad on you.
FaceBook’s action plan reads directly from the playbook of every shitty corporate C-suite: if the PR problem is that the company is under fire because they were perceived as being negligent or complicit in the past about false, misleading, and malicious content, then the solution is to make a performance metric out of the numerical amount of shit they remove or block, regardless of what it is. Bonus if it involves vaguely “individualist” “anti-government” types. And then post their stats as proof they’ve cleaned up their act. My response is slightly less broad than that of Mike Angelo & The Idols: Fuck Facebook. Somewhat like Irfan, I’m phasing out my use of FB entirely. I only have an account because at this point it’s my sole means of communication with a lot of distant family and friends. I’ve taken down my personal information, unfollowed about 400 of my 550 “friends,” unfollow all ad content with extreme prejudice as it comes up in my feed, no longer post, almost never comment except when it is for some practical purpose, and have placed a strict limit on any use of the site at 15 minutes a day, two days a week. I don’t plan on having a social media presence on any other platform, either. Having watched scores of people die and bury friends and family this year, and having to sink a huge piece of my life into the battle against COVID-19 has made me acutely aware of the wages of wasted time. Social media survives on the illusion of being able to powerfully disseminate a message or useful knowledge to many at once. Its benefits are illusory, because there is, by design, 10 times as much noise as signal. It captivated the world for a while, but it’s time for it to be relegated to its rightful place in history, as a cultural phase.
Dude, careful with that shit. This is a blog. Blogs are social media.
Also, LinkedIn? Did I tell you that I’m open to work?
Yeah, yeah, I know I was the one who said “fuck everybody,” but I didn’t mean it literally. I meant, fuck everybody except PoT and LinkedIn.
So I’m guessing that four decades of Khawaja family drama didn’t do it for you?
You forget that in the interest of sustainability, I did spend one whole decade out of the family.
True. I guess I have a hard time taking as hard a line on social media as you. So Facebook and Instagram are now off the table, but we all still have camera rolls full of pictures. To quote Axl Rose, “Where do we go, now? Where do we go?” Flicker? I mean, come on.